To Children, Their Problems Are a Big Deal
Updated: Nov 19, 2019
Hello friends. I hope you had a wonderful week. After a week of terrible weather in NY, and massive amounts of rain, it was so nice to see the sun finally come out today. It’s so true that we have such a different appreciation for things when they have eluded us for a while; especially when at times it felt like there was no end to the rainstorms in sight. The same is true in life. At times we go through storms when we question if we will once again see the sun. But experience has taught us that nothing lasts forever, including the difficulties that come our way, and eventually things do get better and the sun will once again shine upon us. The difference for children is that they lack the life experience to know that the pain of their disappointment or whatever hurts they are feeling, will pass. As adults, we sometimes compare their problems with ours and dismiss or downplay them because in all honesty, our issues are usually a lot more serious. But to them, these issues, this pain, may be the most serious thing they have ever faced and unlike us, they have no other benchmark to compare them to. When they have an argument with a friend, or lose a game, or don’t get chosen for the school play or the team, it is a big deal to them. They haven’t been “around the block” as much as we have; to them this feels huge. So, practice a little more patience with them, and talk to them in the same manner that you would talk to an adult who is going through a more serious problem. Let them know that their issue matters to you and whenever possible, draw examples from your own life experience to let them know how you got through a similar issue. Also, remind them of times when they successfully moved through other disappointments as a way of reinforcing the idea to them that, “This too shall pass.” And never underestimate the power of a big hug.